Customer Service

The topic of this entry (at least by overly demanding American
standards) is a rare find in Moldova. Store clerks do not ask "How
are you?" when you enter a shop. Asking bus or marshutka drivers for
directions have been (in my case) greeted with slammed doors or a
flurry of Russian, Romanian, and Gagauzian that is loosely translated
as "Don't bother me." There is no waiting in line - only pushing and
shoving and crowding and cutting. People tend to yell a lot if there
is some kind of problem, usually upset because of the ignorance of
the customer. The mantra, "The customer is always right" has been
altered slightly to read, "The customer is usually stupid, wrong and
not worth my time."

So you can imagine my surprise when I happened upon a very competent
and helpful young woman, Nina, on Saturday in the city of Cahul in
the Voxtel (my cell phone company) store. My cell phone is recharged
by purchasing a card at various kiosks throughout Moldova. One
scratches off the back of the card to uncover a 16-digit number,
which one then phones in and presto - more minutes. So, in the
process of scratching off the back of my latest card, I also
scratched off parts of a few of the 16 digits. Some numbers might
have been 8's or 6's or 3's. Others could have been 2's or 7's.
Some might have even been Chinese characters.

I tried entering various combinations and even went so far as to make
an official list of the possibilities so I didn't accidentally repeat
my attempts. After about 20 tries, my phone service refused to allow
me to even attempt to enter a new combination - there must be some
kind of limit as to the number of incorrect attempts you can make.
So now I had a fairly expensive and potentially useless phone card;
very few minutes on my phone; and even if I bought a completely new
card my phone wouldn't even allow me to enter any 16-digit number,
correct or otherwise.

So when I explained the situation to Nina and she said, "No problem"
I thought she probably didn't understand the situation. Perhaps my
explanation was lost in the translation. I explained again and
received the same reply. She took my card and ID, copied them both,
wrote a little note, and faxed it to Chisinau and within half an hour
I had my minutes. I was in and out of the store in 10 minutes.
Problem solved. Made my day. I love competence.

Most Wonderful Thing

As anyone worth their salt will tell you, duct tape is probably the
greatest invention ever - or at least in the top 5 (along with the
wheel, cell phones, the light bulb, printing press, and ice cream).
Here's some of the things that I've repaired in Moldova with this
magical gray wonderfulness:

1. My frisbee
2. Boot laces
3. My window - twice
4. The zipper to my jacket - twice
5. Fellow PCVs' back hair - not really, but I bet it would work
6. Electric plug adapter
7. Secured a funnel to the wall to catch water leaking from a
radiator and direct it into a bucket

And the year is still young!

I've yet to see duct tape sold anywhere in Moldova, but I think they
would make a killing over here. So Duct Tape Company, if you're
reading, I'm ready to be your official spokesperson (for a reasonable
6-figure salary).

HEAT!

I'm back in business. Today I helped the repair man replace or clean
the clogged parts of our heating system, added water to a system that
was basically running without any liquid (no wonder the radiators
were cold), released the trapped air, and now the radiators of the
apartment are actually hot for the first time since God knows when.
Happy Day! [Of course, this happens on the warmest day of the year
when I can hear and see the melting snow running off our roof like a
river, but I'll take it.]

Mamma Said There'd Be Days Like This

When you're in training in PC, they tell you that there will be good
days and bad days, that you'll feel as though you're making progress
toward cultural adaptation and then something will slam you backwards
as if you were a beginner just stepping off the plane. Today was
such a day for me. And that's OK. I'm supposed to have days like
this. I just wanted you to know that just because I usually write
funny anecdotes or success stories, there are rare times when I'm
just fed up with cultural adaptation and want to watch some baseball
and eat apple pie!

Probably one reason that this day was the one that broke the camel's
back is for the last 4 days I have been without any heat. As there
has never been any running water, our heat comes from some sort of
closed system with a gas heating unit in the kitchen which is
connected by pipes to three radiators - one in my host mother
Valentina's room, one in the living room, and one in my room. These
radiators have never been particularly hot - they're warm at best -
and recently they stopped working altogether. So, after several days
the repair guy shows up today and "uncorks" the radiators to drain
them of (very dirty, black) water and finds that the switches are
completely blocked with gunk. I don't exactly understand why he
could not immediately put on new switches and we could get the heat
going again, but he couldn't so he'll be back tomorrow to finish the
job.

After lunch work was OK, but toward the end of the day I was getting
frustrated with my Excel lessons - it just wasn't clicking as I had
hoped. The masterpiece of a file I had created to train the
accountants was apparently to dissimilar from the one they normally
used, so it was just no good. I even stayed a little late at the
office to figure it out, but eventually gave up.

Then when I got home I was greeted not by "Hi, Brad, how was your
day?" but "Where were you?! Why weren't you at home today for the
repairman?" My mother had asked me to be at home or at the office to
wait for the repairman, and I was only in those two places today.
But for some reason the repair man went to her school when he
couldn't get into our apartment and Valentine wound up sending her
key with one of her students to unlock our door (when it was already
unlocked because I was at home). She also asked, "Why was your room
dirty and why did people from PC visit our apartment today when you
said they were going to be at your office?" [I had a routine visit
from PC today, as all PCVs get, just to make sure everything is OK.]

WHOA! First of all I was only at the office or at home, just as I
said I would be. Secondly, my room was clean before the repair man
showed up and I had to move everything around so he could work.
Third, I told you the PC people would be coming to the apartment and
NEXT visit they'd be coming to the office. And fourth, how about a
little "Как дила?" (how are you?) before these rude questions?

So I go in my room and workout and then watch the amazing "Alone in
the Wilderness" that my brother sent me (Thanks, Bud - it was
awesome!), so I'm feeling pretty chipper when I go out for a late
dinner of fried potatoes, bread, and cheese. I start to tell
Valentina about this incredible documentary of one man's 30 years
spent alone in the Alaskan wilderness from age 51 to 82 - the log
cabin he built by himself with no power tools, the food he grew or
hunted, and just being content with nature, self, and God. And do
you know what she said? "How could anyone live such a selfish
life?" Selfish?! Is a monk selfish for devoting himself only to
prayer? What about testing oneself and independence and living alone
in the wilderness?!

Well, that was the end of it. I suppose every now and then a PCV -
or maybe just me - has a day when we're ready to have our own
cultural values (independence, creativity, progressiveness) and our
own cultural norms (indoor heating, running water, large and well-
balanced meals) accepted as standard practices. Sorry to use this
entry to vent, but today I needed it. I've no doubt that after a
good night's sleep tomorrow will be just fine.

Body Temperature

Moldovans no doubt have moved further along the evolutionary chain
than Americans. It seems that their blood alternatively flows ice
water and lava depending on the temperature outside. For example,
when it's cold outside locals carry heavy loads for miles without
gloves but their hands don't get cold. Mine would have certainly
frozen solid and broken off. Then when we're on buses so hot and
crowded (I measured a 87 degree F temperature on my pocket
thermometer during one such trip) that I'm compelled to strip down to
my t-shirt, they sit comfortably in long underwear, sweaters, winter
coats, hats, scarves, etc. I don't know how they do it, but I envy
them.

Bureacracy

Here's a taste of former-Soviet bureaucracy... I've been working
with the accountants to figure out how to update their systems and
here is what I've learned. [BTW, my second Excel class went off
really well too. Everyone was there on time all by themselves this
time - like they really wanted to be there! - and this time we
converted some of the real paper documents they use into electronic
ones. Next week I'm going to start meeting daily with each
accountant for 30 minutes on the computer. I figure within a couple
weeks I can consider this project more or less finished and they'll
be able to do everything I can do on Excel.] Now, onto the crazy
teacher salary system...

First, you have your base salary based on your years of experience -
just like in America. Then, for some reason you also have a percent
of that salary as a bonus, either 10% or 30%, again depending on your
years of experience. Why there is a separate calculation for the
bonus instead of just lumping it in with the original salary I don't
know. Then each teacher receives a certain percentage of their
"salary+bonus" for the number of classes they taught. If they teach
grades 1-4, they are required to teach 20 classes per week. If
grades 5-12, 18 hours per week. So if they go over or under these
numbers, they get more or less money. Then there's also a small
additional salary for the number of hours they work at home
correcting homework, exams, notebooks, etc. But each subject - math,
Russian, science, etc. - has a different hourly rate. And the rate
is so low across all subjects and the differences between each
subject so miniscule that the most any single teacher might receive
for his/her correcting work would be about $3 per month. In my
opinion, the only thing this "homework bonus" serves to do is make
more work for the accountants.

The system gets trickier when you consider substitute days. First,
if a teacher is absent his or her salary is reduced. There are no
"permanent subs," people who only work as substitutes, like you find
in America. Therefore, the school director or another teacher will
sub and receive a bonus for doing so. The bonus is slightly larger
for teaching older children. There are also additional tiny bonuses
for being a homeroom teacher, coaching an after school activity, and
my personal favorite - hazard pay for some chemistry teachers for
being exposed to dangerous chemicals. There are tiny payments for
having security detail - meaning you have the key to the computer
room - and for working in the school garden during the spring. And
of course there are various taxes that are withheld.

And don't get me started on sick days... I haven't figured this out
yet, but apparently depending on whether you yourself are sick or if
you stay at home to take care of a sick relative or if you get sick
at school or at home or in another city you receive a different
amount of sick pay. And you have to get an official document from
the hospital to show that you were actually sick - no simple phone
call to say "I have a cold and need to stay in bed."

No wonder we have 5 accountants in our office - this is a mountain
load of (seemingly superfluous) calculations. Fortunately Excel is
up to the task and after setting up the proper formulas the first
time, the computer does the rest.

Hoping to start a typing class soon...

Don't drop the soap...

Yesterday, four of us went to the neighboring city to pay a visit to
the public bath house. Essentially, it's much as I imagine a prison
shower would be, complete with exposed pipes, broken tiles, and naked
men everywhere. But it did have plenty of hot running water, a very
hot sauna attached to the public shower area, and it was less than a
dollar per hour. My own little slice of heaven. Looking forward to
my next trip - I'm so clean!

Projects

As an American abroad in a poor nation, there are two stereotypes
that are hard to shake - (1) that of being a spy and (2) that of
being rich or having access to other's riches. The latter tends to
make if difficult to explain that I'm not, in fact, rich and cannot
just magically generate thousands of dollars through the internet to
build a new school or buy a car or increase everyone's salaries.

However, there are certain funds and grants about which I have a
greater degree of knowledge than the average local, and some folks
here are anxious to take advantage of this. For example, my host
mother in addition to working as a Russian teacher in the local high
school, also works for the local TV station. Yes, we have a local TV
station, but it has no programs, no office that anyone can stay in
longer than 30 minutes on account of the cold, and no real staff. It
does have a video camera, but it's broken so we sometimes use one
guy's private video camera when he decides to show up to film
something. Anyway, my host mother keeps asking me to help her find
money on the internet so she can buy the necessary equipment.

At first I thought there are far worthier projects than an improved
TV station, but she's started to convince me that an independent
media would help improve other areas of the community - nothing seems
to propel change like the spotlight of public scrutiny. My concern,
though, is that even with new equipment it would only be used to show
that everything was AOK here in Copceac. For example, I went to one
of the schools with my personal video camera to help my mother with a
TV project, and the director of the school had all the students
remove their coats and hats and scarves that they were wearing in
class so that it looked as though they were happy and warm on the
film. Then as soon as I stopped taping, they put all their layers
back on. So, would my mother really have the courage to direct her
camera to the areas that need improvement - transportation,
unemployment, alcoholism, trash, corruption, bureaucracy, etc. - and
to use the media in an unbiased manner? I guess that's where I would
come in, to make sure it happens. And another question - why not
just have a newspaper, which involves a lot less cost and technology
than TV? Anyway, this needs some more research on my part.

The other example of folks trying to extract grants from the "rich
American" comes from both my mayor and one of the school's
directors. School #2 has a concrete floor while School #1's is
tiled. Apparently this inequity is irksome to those in School #2.
Granted, the floor is not pretty and it's uneven, but it functions.
No one is falling through the floor and getting hurt. Anyway,
they've both been trying to pressure me to help them pay for a new
floor with pretty tiles, basically because they are embarrassed by
the look of it. I know that no one - or certainly not Peace Corps -
would pay for a project to put in a new floor simply because the old
one was ugly, and looking back on my service 2 years from now I would
feel pretty badly if I caved to their pressure on this issue. So I
told them point blank that I don't mean to offend, but I don't think
this project is necessary and that there are many other more worthy
projects in the village that I'd be happy to help with - like
internet for the schools, better heating and insulation, a new
community center, a better library, etc.

I also said that I'd like to do a survey of teachers and students in
the school to find out what they think they need. The school
director quickly jumped on this idea and said, "And what if they all
say they want a new floor?" [I could see the wheels turning in her
head about how she would tell everyone they had to put down that the
most pressing need was a new floor...] Again, I told her that if the
grant was going to go through me, I would not work on a new floor.
She was welcome to find a grant without me that would help with this
issue. Hopefully this debate has been put to rest. And I'm a little
proud of how I stood up to their pressure.

SUCCESS!!!

At long last, after waiting and waiting and begging and clawing and
bribing (with candy and fancy invitations I printed off my computer)
I had my Microsoft Excel class and it was a great success!!!

All 4 accountants (including one who just started a couple days ago
and I didn't even know) and the mayor's secretary attended. After
carrying one computer upstairs so we could all be in the same room on
two computers and hustling late people to get into my improvised
classroom, we started about 15 minutes late - not too bad by Moldovan
standards.

As I've stated before on this blog, the reason for doing the Excel
class is that this program makes all kinds of computations that would
take hours to do with a calculator and forever to do in your head.
Our accountants are overworked and their time could be better spent
working on problems in our village that actually require human
creativity or a human body instead of more or less mindlessly
punching numbers into a calculator.

Before the class I made up the basic outline of two files which we
would complete for the lesson. The first was a family's monthly
expenses divided into the categories taxes, gas, electricity, and
telephone. The second was a list of everyone in the office that
included their full names, DOB, job title, street and number, and
telephone. I showed them how they could easily write formulas that
would automatically compute the monthly totals and averages the the
family needed to pay across all the different categories of bills as
well as the average and total cost for each category. In other
words, at a glance someone could see the total they payed in August
was $200 which broke into an average bill of $50 and that in the
course of a year they payed a total of $1200 for electricity with an
average bill of $100 [Of course I'm using easily divisible numbers
here because I'm not as smart as I look (which is pretty damn smart),
but in real life and in my class the numbers don't work out so
simply.] Then we made a line chart from the table of numbers so one
could easily analyze trends in the cost of living - like that it's
more expensive in general in the winter.

Then in the next file they filled in all their personal information,
and then using Excel's "autofilter" option, we were able to instantly
arrange all the information alphabetically by last name, or first
name, or the street on which people lived, or even in order by date
of birth. I think this will be very helpful during the next election
to see who has voted and who hasn't, or if the office wanted to see
who where the top 10 delinquent tax payers, or whenever people need
to make lists.

After the class one of the accountants asked me how
to make a new formula to figure out various percentages that were due
for different taxes. It was something not taught in my class, but
something she thought of on her own. Creativity! So then for the
next 45 minutes we were huddled around one computer while they made
up their own file that would be useful in real life and I
occasionally showed them how to do something when they got stuck. By
the end of it, they were all grinning from ear to ear, amazed at how
easily the computer instantly made computations for hundreds of
people, computations that probably took them days. One jokingly
asked, "Why didn't you show us this before?" I jokingly yelled back,
"I've been trying for the last three weeks!"

I can't want for my next class, which should be in a week or two, but
I'm going to continue to try work daily with our new accountant, who
seems the most experienced with the computer. Work with your best
and they'll work with the rest.

And at the end of class I gave out chocolates and a certificate of
completion of MSExcel, Level 1. I think their lives are about to get
a lot easier.