Handshakes and Beards

For men in Moldova, it's very important to shake hands.  Whereas in America a wave or head nod or simple "Hello" will suffice when meeting large groups of people, in Moldova it is often considered insulting if a man does not shake your hand.  Mind you, this is regardless of the number of people you are greeting or their relationship to you.  The hand must be shook.

I'm sure that I've managed to make some social mistakes in this quarter since arriving in Moldova - and if you're a Moldovan whose hand I forgot to shake, I apologize.  It was never intentional; it's just not something we do to the same degree in America.

So, you can imagine my surprise when my offer to shake hands with several of my co-workers was turned down.  My hand was extended, they clearly saw it, but refused to grab on.  I somewhat jokingly insisted as they retreated further from my greeting.

Then a female co-worker explained that they could not shake my hand because someone in their familiy had died.  Wow, foot in my mouth.  In the Gagauz (and perhaps Moldovan?) culture, when a family member dies the men must grow beards for 40 days, during which time they cannot shake hands with anyone.

Fortunately, most Moldovan men are clean-shaven, so in the future if I see a beard I will know to keep my hand in my pocket.  Then again, there are some men who do wear beards and I may offend them if I don't shake.  This will be a tricky situation...